Childhood Nirvana š„°
The vast majority of people I meet have childhood traumaāit sounds awful
As I start to think about what it might be like for me to start a family, I keep reflecting on the incredible job my parents have done. Almost everyone I meet is burdened by some insane level of childhood trauma.
I put parenting styles into 4 buckets:
ā ļø Bereaved - When a child loses a parent or both too young
š„ŗ Neglected - When the parents fail to prove love, education, safety & nutrition
š¤ Spoiled - When the parents make life far too easy for their offspring
š„° Supported - When the child feels the parental support and love all the time
My father was bereaved. My mother was not supported. I met lots of spoiled brats at the at Edinburgh University. My closest friends, most honest business partners, and most successful investments have all been supported as children.
My parents are my idols.
Following the children
The thing I admire most about my parents is that they followed our interestsāthey never dictated to us. I can count on one hand the number of times they told me what to do. They preferred to engage me in a debate so that I could build my own models of the world.
The watched me smash myself to bits on a kite, almost go bankrupt multiple times, and explore the extremities of my bipolar diagnosis until my brain would melt.
They never passed judgement. They just provided love and support.
That, to me, is childhood nirvana. I do not look back in anger.
I look forward with love.
š„°
How can we help?
Those of us who grew up supported hit the jackpot at birth. We have an unfair advantage over those who were tortured by their creators. We have a responsibility to help those with terrible childhoods navigate the world with their scars.
We have to listen to them when they tell us what happened.
No matter how brutal.
There is only one question that matters in this vein:
What kind of childhood are you going to give to the lives you create?
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Honestly subbed for your web3 content, but am pleasantly surprised with this post. Well timed with our families gathering for the holidays.
Lovely to read about how your parents supported you through your childhood, been reflecting on my own upbringing lately and how Iād like to do better when the time comes. Great read.
parent & child learning roles in parallel. as in any relationship, timing (relative to emotional intelligence = poise & priorities) affects outcomes. find a practice (like prayer) to support the long nights, days, weeks, etc. when your kids venture into this world. parenthood teaches you to surrender your sense of right-might-self like nothing else. good on you...